As I sit here in a wasteland of legos to be stepped on and random clothes and dolls that will never be matched, I’m convinced that buying stuff doesn’t bring much lasting happiness. And that my kids need way less stuff. But then I spend hours researching the latest TV, phone, computer, and video game and think maybe I do need some more stuff.
I know the research on how buying stuff doesn’t really change our happiness because after a little while we get used to it and bored with it and need something new to excite us again. I can also see this in practice right now on my living room carpet. But I still end up wanting more stuff all the time and try to convince myself that this time is different and this new thing really is needed in my life.
So I have tried to think back on what material items actually have provided some benefit over the longer-term to see if there are some themes I can use to distinguish between “better” stuff that I get more out of for longer and just the regular stuff that is fun for a bit and then is forgotten. With the hope that maybe I’ll remember this the next time I find myself randomly and “accidentally” shopping for stuff.
Two common themes
I realized that I get more out of stuff when there were two factors present:
- The item enabled some new activities that I enjoy doing that I couldn’t do before
- I had the time and money to use the new item
A few examples of how this worked in my own life
Buying a house
After a few years of 600-square foot apartment living, we moved into a house that was about twice the size with so much more space for activities (kind of like when you add bunk beds in a room). We had now gained the ability to entertain in a backyard or have a small exercise area at home – both of which were activities we enjoyed.
But there was an issue – we had demanding jobs that required so many hours working that we didn’t have time or were left too tired for new activities. As a result, there wasn’t much of a practical difference in our lives from moving to a bigger place until we eventually had more time in our lives to use the new spaces. It was just empty space that collected dust until then.
Buying a new car
New cars are fun. They always have some type of new technology that is new and interesting, they smell nice and start out clean.
But what new activities does a new car actually provide for most people? Maybe if we’re going from a small car to a truck or van that can be used to tow or haul more people and/or stuff, we might be able to do some new and different things that we previously couldn’t.
However, if the main function of our vehicle is to get us from one place to another place, then a new car doesn’t really enable us to do anything new over our old car (even if it would be nice to have a car without wood panelling on the outside).
This has been my experience: a new car is exciting and new for a little while and then it just becomes a background item that gets us around places, just like the old car.
Buy a new “toy”
This could be tech gadgets, golf clubs, fishing stuff, collectibles, or almost anything we buy related to hobbies. So the questions again end up being: what does this new thing do for me that my current thing does not? And do I have the time and money to use it?
A clear memory for me is when I bought new golf clubs after not having any for a while. It was such a significant event that it was mentioned in the annual Christmas letter as a headline along with having our first kid. So I was enabling a new activity that I enjoyed. But I might not have thought through it enough at the time as finding a few hours on the weekend to play was challenging with a young family and a demanding job plus it cost not a small amount of money to play each time. So my golf clubs pretty much sat unused for a few years until some time freed up to play during the week when we were less busy and it was less expensive to play.
There are so many more examples that could be cited. In review, the majority of items purchased didn’t really add anything new that I couldn’t do before or if they did, I didn’t get to use them as much as I thought because of a lack of time or money. And this kind of feels liberating (after trying to not think about the money spent on this stuff). It is liberating because it helps remind me that I don’t need to spend as much as I thought in some areas of life, which means I can spend more in other areas or save more and eventually work less.
Takeaway
We are tempted and encouraged to buy stuff all the time. We can easily think about past spending on stuff and find examples where it didn’t really do much for us or what we hoped for at the time. We can can improve our chances of getting more from our spending when we ask two questions before buying:
- Does this item enable new activities that I enjoy that I can’t enjoy without buying it?
- Do I have the time and money to use this item in my life right now?
My hope is by getting better at buying new stuff that is a “yes” to these questions, we can get more long-term benefits from our spending on stuff and spend less on stuff that doesn’t really do much for us.